crystal - sapphire - diamond

2007-07-23T13:34:00.000-07:00

It's been a mth plus since i last updated liaos. Well, been trying hard to cut down on my drinking and pubbing alr. Anyway, my significant 'someone' found himself a new gal. As for me, i've gotten a new guy afta two mths plus. Finally, i decided to move on lerrs. No point holding onto something that aint meant to be mine. Recently de life v chaotic. Luckily for me, my family are always ard. My friends have been supporting me too. Thx to all peers out there~ Actually the reason why i wanna update blog is simply bcos there are sooooo many things i've been kiping inside me..

Yupps. It's indeed true i still haven completely let go of 'him'. Told ya i need time. Don force me to say things out when i dun feel like it. You asked if i feel guilty towards you. All i can say is that i'm afraid. I mean all the things i said. Including the things i said that day at KeeHan's hse de staircase. You're a gd bf. For this, i swear. I've been hurt once. Deeply. I dun wanna get hurt anymor. This is the reason why i'm afraid. I no longer trust. Not only to you. Get it mahs? So many things i wanna say. But i cant jux show you my true self yet. I need time to overcome. To accustome to yor life, yor style. I know yor frens dun hv a gd impression of me. That's bcos they dunno me well. Dun tell me you still dun understand me the least bit by now? I'm stressed up. I mean it. I no longer wan ppl to think i'm weak liaos. You dunno me that well. So you cant see how drastic i've changed. I dun wish to shun from problems. I jux dun hv the courage to face it. I may appear strong. Yahs. That is only to ppl who dunno me well. Sigh, jux rmb i'm trying hard. I've got many things to fan over. My family, yor family, my friends, yor friends, etc. ur world is so diff. Think over what i've once said to you. The things i said at blk5 when we're alone. We live by faith, not by sight. See things through yor heart, not by yor eyes only~

Say sooo much, 'you' understand mahs? Not that i dun wanna tell you directly. Jux dunno how to say. Sigh... Hope you really do understand the things i'm expressing. I will stand by the promises i gave you. Not gonna say goodbye easily de.

-JUST GIVE ME SOME TIME-

[Jerica]
0520am

2007-06-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

Finally updated my blog again.. Nothing much to say also. My life sucks since 20thAPR07'.. EVeryday just drink and drink. Eat anything also just puke. Haahs. FUnny sial. The more i drink, the emptier i feel. This kinda life is killing me. I miss him.. Too much. I know he's leading a happier life without me. Since that day i made the decision to end it all, i should be prepared. Prepared for all these kinda crappy miseries. Today's the 2nd month we broke up lerrs. And i'm not feeling any better. It's tiring to smile when you don feel the least like it. Someone told me, it's better for both of us this way. I'm living in self denial can.. Telling myself i'll be happy as long as he's happy. I DON WANNA BE 'NOBLE' anymore!!! It simply sucks. All i really wann is just him and only him... I've tried, but i cant let go. Stupid me.. I'm a fool. Living in my own world. Avoiding the sun as much as i can. If tears can make his shadows fade away, i'd rather keep crying. So so much to say to him, but i know there's no point anymore. I can only just wait.. COntinue waiting for as long as i can bahs. Till the end, i promised. I shall stand by my promises. It may sound boring to those ppl reading my blog. Haahs. Sorry yahs. I've got not much mood to describe my recent life. Cos everyday just drink and get drunk. Except for ytd nahs. COs broke up de 2nd month mahs. Felt so empty drinking.. HUrts like hell can.. It does. I'm still loving someone. Hoping to return to the old days.. Perhaps the more it hurts, the more you love bahs.. Feel like a fool. Haahs. Seeing him post pictures of other gals in his friendster and i'm still here waiting like a fool.. No matter how, i'm just tired of relationships. Just nv get tired of him. Lols.. GOnna stop here le i guess.. Peers out there, thanks for your concern. I'm fine. Really. Just let me indulge in drinking for now bahs. Period.

-ALCOHOLIC JERICA-
[SADNESS IS BEAUTIFUL; LONELINESS IS TRAGICAL..]

2007-05-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

Finally.. Got time to update blog liaos. Many things happened lahs. But it's always the same old damn thing. Yups. Broke up with 'him' again. As usual. Hahs.. Dunno lahs. Very luan now. I know he enjoys his single life now. Good ma. Both of us got freedom liaos. No point saying so much now. I guess ppl out there als sians of my story with him liaos. Hahs.. Anyway, nicole found her xing fu liaos. CONGRATS LOR!! Hehs.. Hoping my precious ANN can find hers too.. FASTER FASTER!!!! Anyway, going to get a job in pub.. Wanna put tattoos too! Work hard bahs. I wann get bike license too! SAPPHIRE!! Buck up k? Then we both go rounding together! Crystal shall sit in her hubby's car. =x K lahs. Hands tired liaos. Take care everyone!

To 'him': I dunno since when, both of us began to hurt each other. Perhaps you're right. With love comes hatred.. No matter how, jia you. With or without me... You'll be fine de. I'll still be around when you needs me. Just that, this time round, i'll be a friend. Take good care k? I shall keep you and our memories deep down in my heart. Every single thing.. Thanks for the times we spent together. I was showered with your love. I was blessed. Let's just say that i dunno how to treasure bahs.

MEMORIES________090206-110507

2007-03-12T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hmmm... Kinda long nv post liaos. Hahs, sorry peers out there.. Been busy with my boy (as usual).. Well, shall blog about my trip to Taiwan first. Heh, it was fun with my boy with me. Went to their museums and night market. Went shopping with my dear. But hors, the things there not cheap ar~ Hahas. The first day we got there, it was kinda late liaos. So, we jux took a rest in the hotel. But, my boy and i sneaked out to buy Ciggys. Then we tried their cup noodles. Haha. Their things in the 7-11 v cheap lors! A pack of ciggys only $2.50 sing dollar. We strolled for a while then go back liaos. Excuse me, it's like bloody cold and there aren't lots of ppl out there. Due to CNY period. Reached hotel then take a bath in their bathtub. Too small. Only for one person =x Hahs.. After bathing, ate our supper. Their tv channels hors, damn lots lor! Got dunno around 30 plus channels. Watched till we fell aslp. Nx morn, woke up damn early to go their famous pier. Soooo many food!! And we went to their LOVER's BRIDGE!!! Damn nice lahs! Took some pics. Hmmm.. Then we went to some weird weird place for lunch. DUring the stay there, all we had was those restaurant food. Deardear kip complaining he got fatter (Dun worry lahs, how fat i also want you derrs!) Hahs.. After lunch went to some other places lo.. Then late at night, went to 7-11 with dear again. Cup noodles lo, wad else.. Hehs. But with my precious around, everything seems so meaningful! =x I shall cut short abt the trip kaeS? During the second last day, went to a damn damn exquisite restaurant for dinner. Food damn nice, ambience damn good. Love it! Then went to nearby shopping mall.. Got Ferris Wheel!! Too bad the queue tooooo long liaos. Managed to take pics.. Heng ar.. Went back hotel then we played bath foam. Hehs.. Deardear helped mi run the water and put the bath foam derrs!! Sweet hors? After tat went to 7-11 AGAIN.. But this time round, my boy said he wants the most expensive cup noodles as it's our last night lerrs. And so, we bought three cups. When we reached the hotel, we were damn hungry. My boy went bathing and i cooked the noodles. Damn funny lahs!! His noodles looked sooooo nice with meat and all those. But when finished cooking, it was damn disgusting! To think that deardear still boast to me! HAHAHAHA! My silly boy.. So ke ai lahs him.. Anyway, last day went to cut our hair~ Their service damn good but skills damn bad.. Hais.. Cut short lahs. Overall, this trip with deardear shall be kept in my heart always! Love him..

Hais.. Back to the present. My precious is leaving S'pore for Genting tmr.. Sad.. Three days cant contact him. Maybe it's because i see him everyday bahs.. Hais.. Should have nv taken our time together for granted.. See la? Now he going NS soon also. Just hope that no matter wad happens, we can survive the NS period lo.. Cos i really love him real damn much! Nowadays he's been treating me sweetly too.. Must remind myself not to take him for granted. Must find job faster. Then can treat him better... Pray hard that we can be like David and Jacq.. K lahs, wann go his sch accompany him eat lunch.. Byes...

*PHLYC*

JeRiCa_DiaMonD
1024am

2007-01-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

Woah Woah Woah!!! It's been almost two weeks plus since we last updated our blog. Cannot let the spider web grow and grow worx.. Dunno where to start cos too many things are happening in my life recently. Had many first time experience.. Went to Mustafa sial! I know i Know.. People mux be laughing at miiee. Cos i've nv been there b4. Went there with my beloved, david and jac and tobi.. The things there ar, damn cheap lahs! HaHaS.. But also got one kinda smell. We walked inside there ar, i nearly vommitted. Not racist ar.. Jux that think is thier perfume smell too strong liaos. Then another time, we went to see car racing. But this time, without jac.. Replaced with my ah mei (teck hua).. LolS!! We waited there for dunno how long only saw those cars that came to race, but nv saw them racing. SianS right? Yups. Then we went up to Fort Canning Park. Turtle lors. Damn eerie lahs. We went up a while we go off liaos. Luckily got car.. Cos damn tired lerrs. Hmmm.. Brought Gomez for grooming. I tell yUu ar, beta dun bring yOr pets to holland de pet shop. Knn. Cut until gomez de nails all bleeding. Fcuk. Heart pain sial!! But other than that, think thier grooming quite ok lahs. Hey, that's the first time i walked around Holland Village too! I'm a mountain tortise lahs. HehS.. But thanks to my beloved, i've gained a lot of experience. Hais. Had a long talk with my boy ytd. Realized a lot a lot of things. Maybe all along, my character remains the same bahs. I dunno if i should be sad or glad that my boy is thinking this way. Right now, i just know that i miss my family and friends. Misses the old days. This yr de chinese new year i will be away to Taiwan. Cant have reunion dinner with my family!! I'm so upset lahs. Thinking of not wanting to go. But i cant. Cos the whole trip is like damn expensive lahs. & my boy de parents pay liaos. I'm so worried about my family that i dun wish to go. On the other hand, i wanna have memories with my boy that nobody has.. Hais.. In a dilemma now.. Type so long, hand tired liaos. I wann go fetch my boy from sch also. So long, everyone!

1115am
'JeRiCa_DiaMonD

2007-01-01T20:07:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
hey i saw that rainbow with ben inside his car too =D
finally you know how to think a little =x
anyway.. its good to hear that.. but my same words apply... your actions should speak louder then your words.. =)
actually intend to ask you for mahjong tomorrow cause tomorrow i going alexandra to return the pass and all.. but seems like you're working and busy with you things then i think next time then... when i'm free i'll go find you ya =)
take care... hugs

crystal =D

2007-01-01T03:30:00.000-08:00

It's the first day of the new year!! Saw a rainbow sial! HaHas.. Good year ahead hors? Saw it with my boy and his family.. Hmmm.. Resolutions for this year will be to earn loads and loads of money!! Then my family can enjoy.. Hope this year will be smooth sailing bahs. Don wann anymore troubles like last year liaos. I wann to enjoy my trip to taiwan!! &.. I sincerely hope that all bitches can get outta my life. Stop bothering my boy and i anymore. WahahahaS~ Anyway, may everyone out there have a great great year!!
=)

'JeRiCa_DiaMonD
1942pm

2006-12-29T19:38:00.000-08:00

Wah.. Nowadays kip working and working. No time to update. Well, working at chinatown point de boutique. So sian lahs. No customer derrs. Nothing to do there, bloody cold also. But nvm lahs. Work got money liaos can bring grandpa to hospital, return my crystal her money, bring my family out, etc.. Hmmm.. Sounds good to miiee. =) So peers out there, don jio miiee out or asking for a meet-up now hors. Cos i'd be too busy! Unless yUu ppl wann come chinatown point look for miiee lahs. Second storey. The shop name is 'HOMY' wors. KeKex.. By the way, new year eve gg sing k. Anybody interested drop miiee a msg in friendster bahs. K lahs. Going to work soon. Tc everyone!!

'JeRiCa_DiaMonD
1144am

2006-12-26T01:06:00.000-08:00

Well, good to see tat my crystal is leading a good life. ^^ DOn be so hao lian lahs.. Lata ppl reading our blog gets jealous. HaaHs~ Both of us are xing fu de nu ren!! New year is coming. Of cos, many resolutions. Looking back on this year, found out many mistakes made. Sigh, jux keep myself on the right track nex year bahs. As usual, i passed this year with my crystal. HaaHS~ Always there for miiee. Thanks!! And.... I'm locked with my boy on the 9th of feb this yr!!! Though we brk up for a few times, but we're still back with each other. Each time we patched, we grow stronger. Right now, both of us are jux waiting for the right age to get married. LoLS!! We're still moving on. I believe afta we went through so much, both of us have come to recognized the fact that we belong to each other. =)

K lahs. Enough said. Will update again on my new year resolutions.

'JeRiCa_DiaMonD

2006-12-23T06:23:00.000-08:00

wishing everyone merry christmas.. =)

actually just to say...
wo zai guo ze xing fu de re zhi wor.. =p

crystal

2006-12-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

Well, am here to blog abt my bday. Had a wet but memorable bday. Raining throughout that day. So, cancelled my trip to escape and sentosa. End up? Indoor bbq. Eh~ This sounds like not fun right? But,,,, i had my bbq under a void deck! HaaHs~ Planned by? Of cos my boy lahs. This is my first bbq tat is illegal wors! LoLs~ Everybody were so afrid that the residents will lodge a complain, and then police will come. Fortunately, that sort of things nv happened. I really enjoyed my bday though it's been raining like hell. Most importantly, i have my most beloved boy with miiee. & of cos, all my frenx tat so mattered to miiee. Though some of my fenx wasn't present and i didnt get any wishes from them, i still enjoyed my bday! LoLs~ Esp my pri sch frenx ar. Crayon( best bro), came down to queenstown MRT early in the morn jux to pass miiee my present. Hmmm.. Touched. Judy and xin ning too. Thanks yahs. K lahs. Dun type lerrs. Wann pei my boy study. Tmr exams lerrs. Mux burn midnight oil with him. Ppl out there, envy my biy fir having such a good gf? LoLs~

My boy: Thanks for everything. I know tat yUu're damn stressed out on my bday. It's the tots tat counts. Rmb wad i told yUu? I dun need anything fanciful. What matters most is that yUu're right here with miiee. I had a great bday. & it was diff from others. No matter how much sufferings we had in this relationship, things will only get better. For all the wrongs we made, i'll make it right. I'm never letting go easily anymore. No worries. Last but not least, boy, I"M DAMN PROUD OF YUU!!!

With Love,
'JeRiCa_DiaMonD
1121pm

2006-12-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.. Thanks to all for yOr well wishes.. Finally turning 17 liaos. Wahahahas. Next year can get married liaos. JkJk. See how lahs. But mux wait for a yr more to get my bike license. Sians. I wann a VESPA!! LoLs~ But, cannot let my family know i'm getting a bike. If not, sure die. Wahahas. Anyway, going to Taiwan with my dear and his parents. Though it's like two more months, but i'm real excited yea. Hais.. Crisis in my family and my boy de family. But, no worries. We can get thru it derrs. Have more faith yea, my boy.. Hmmm. Now monsoon season. Praying hard that it won't rain lata. If not, cant go to escape liaos. Sians. Alex and my boy cursing miiee that it'll rain. PUI.. Tot alex so good help miiee write testi. HaaHS~ K lahs K lahs. Dun say him. If not both shirley (his sista) and him dun wann come my bday celebration. Wahahahas. So sians.

Crystal: Working liaos hors? Mux jiayou on yOr first day of work huhs. Anything call miiee. Anyone bully yUu also mux tell miiee. I go whack them. HaaHs~ Take care hors, sweetie. Hais. My bday nv come. But nvm. I got yOr wishes liaos. Thanks hUhs. *Loves*

JeRiCa_DiaMonD -21 11 06-
0148am

2006-12-14T19:45:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.. These few days many things happened. Good and bad times. Still moving on. Anyway, ppl out there. If yUu've got any bloody comments on miiee being with my boy, come straight up to my face and tell miiee. Gonna do something nasty to miiee? HaahS~ Irony. yUu're in no position to do anything to miiee. C'mon. Try miiee. If yUu've got the guts, i welcome yUu. =D Don hide there behind yOr father's back. By the way, did i eva mention i was going to that bbq of yors? I don think so. If i wann a bbq, i jolly well can orgarnise it myself. Don tell my boy what if eva he needs yUu ppl, yUu wun be ard. HaaHs~ Guess yUu still dun understand what type of a bf my boy is. Oh yahs. Of cos yUu dun understand. Cos yUu've never win his heart mahs. LoLs~ Enuff of this prob lerrs. Anyway, ytd went to ann de pet shop with my boy and Gomez doggie. We bring Gomez there to socialize with other dogs. HaaHs. Cute lahs him. I had a fun day with my boy =) Later at night going play mahjong with his frenx. LoLs~ Tuesday my bday gg Sentosa. Hmmm.. My boy got surprise for miiee! WOndering what will it be? Excited.. K lahs. Stop here first. I wann go get ready then go out with my boy lerrs. =)

'JeRiCa
1209pm

2006-12-09T22:25:00.000-08:00

Hmmm... Jux woke up then come blog lerrs. So hardworking. Haahs~ Anyway, had a fun day ytd. Went to vivo with my boy, his parents and matthias to shop. My boy bought a shirt from Pull and Bear. Niceey! =) Then my boy de marmie and daddie went hm. Then zhiwei came. Four of us waited for Raf and Huishan. Then all six of us went for a movie called A Battle Of Wits. Damn nice show. Heart-wrenching and all. The show ended around three plus midnight. Though i'm like damn tired, but i enjoyed the show lahs. Anyway, when we were a the Sky Park of Vivo, saw loads of stars. So nice. But my boy wasn't being too romantic nahs. LoLs. Watching stars is like so romantic. But.... HaaHs~ Nvm. On the cabbie way hm, said thanks to my boy. He was like ' thx for wad???', then i said, 'thx for the great day'. My boy smiled. =) Reached hm so tired lerrs. But my boy still cooked for miiee. Then we played with our baobei Gomez doggie for a while. Then slp ard 5 plus. LoLs. K lahs. I have to go get prepare lerrs. Maybe my boy and i gg to find our nephew bahs.
=D

'JeRiCa_DiaMonD
1435pm

2006-12-07T01:00:00.000-08:00

Ubin Ubin!! Let's save up for ubin!! aHaahs~ Yea, we shall go there and countdown. Anyway, rmb to make yOrself free on my bday hOrs! Tell that to Ben too eh? HaaHs. Anyway, had a bad interview today. WTF is that kinda stare for? I don't deserve that and i certainly DO NOT appreciate it. Fcuking job. Fcuking ppl. Don't forget what goes around, comes around! yUu shall have yOr retribution someday. I will never forget that stare. Don't judge a person by their family background eh? Hais.. Crystal, yUu asked miiee to fight for my rights? WHat rights do i have? I've got totally no say in this lahs. Don't forget who introduced this job to miiee kaes? Hais.. Morale low. Low confidence. Never have i encounter this kinda prob b4. Hais.. Never mind lahs. Think i should be old enuff to understand how the world revovles. No mood to continue lahs. Gonna go slp. Take my mind off this. And yahs.. Crystal, tmr i gg pet shop. Not free to meet yUu. Maybe saturday bahs. See how lahs. Really no mood. Tc..

Sucky World With Uncoth People
Realistic...

'JeRiCa
1710pm

2006-12-06T07:31:00.000-08:00

no he should go jian fei too.. he's actually fat.. just that you dont know only.. =x
anyway.. wear thick pants later heat stroke then you know ar.. hahaha...
anyway i also dont know how to swim.. everytime say go swimming with qi and ping is actually go jacuzzi or go to the steam room and all one.. so dont think so much.. =x and he said that he will go cycling with me someday so we shall see ba =) anyway.. see you tomorrow.. dont be late please.. haha

crystal

2006-12-05T23:00:00.000-08:00

HaaHs~ Sure Sure. Let's jian fei tgt bahs. Too bad i dunno how to swim. If not can go swimming more relax. Nvm. yUu giv in to miiee go cycling bahs. But rmb to wear thick thick pants hors. Cos ytd i ride ar, my butt all blue-black wors! SO painful lahs! HaahS~ Can ask ben & my boy to acc us too. LoLs! But i think Ben dun need to jian fei nahs. So that left yUu, my boy and i... Buck up bahs. Will cfm the jian fei outing with yUu asap! =D

JianFei Success!!!

'JeRiCa_DiaMonD
1505pm

2006-12-05T21:43:00.000-08:00

i also want jian fei.. lets jian fei together.. =D
from they day i know ben he keep bringing me out to eat and eat and eat.. -_- i growing fatter also le... lets plan together and jian fei together if not i'll also be alone.. I DONT WANT! =x
if happen to be alone with you then we shall be les LOL! i'm crazy ignore me hahahahahahaa!

crystal

2006-12-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

Jux came bck from cycling with my boy. Wah~ I'm like damn tired lors. HaaHs~ But it's worth it nahs. Anyway, i decided to make cycling my hobby! LoLs! But my boy de reaction was like 'wtf?'.. Cos he know i'm those lazy type derrs. HaaHs.. Actually, the main reason why i wanna mk it my hobby is tat i wanna lose weight lahs. I'm so fat i cant take it. Cos i kip eating non-stop after i patched back with my boy. Hmmm... I'm in deep shit. Cos if i grow fat, i wonder if my boy still wants miiee. HeHs. Nobody wants miiee then i'm gonna spend my whole life being alone lerrs. NO!!!! I dun wanna be alone! So i must jian fei!! LoLs.. K lahs. Wann go cook for my boy. & i'm getting tired. Stop here bahs.

- Sweet Sweet Love -

With TIredness,
'JeRiCa_DiaMonD
0409AM

2006-12-04T22:46:00.000-08:00

No matter what, dun give up. This is the promise both of us mux keep. I dun wanna lose yUu again. yUu know the feeling. So why give up? I love yUu so, I need yUu so.
This song de lyrics..
Go and read it carefully kaes?

- Never Let yUu Go -

The rain just never seems to bring the joy, I feel the same,
Everlasting pain of my loss remains,
My heart can't seem to learn to part,The hold you left your mark,
All that I dreamed of now it seem so stark,

Though I told myself, won't hold my breath,
A part of me was dying,
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in,

*Chorus: If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

The way you left me on the train,
I don't know what to say,
I remember everything of that day,
I can't believe we'd never dance,
I just need one more chance,
To share the sunset,Our one last romance,

Though I told myself, won't hold my breath,
A part of me was dying,
There is nothing left for me to do now but give in,

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go

Well, that's all i wanna say.
Do yUu really understand?

yUu're all i ever wanted, all i ever needed.

'JeRiCa

2006-12-04T21:23:00.000-08:00

Well, true true. Once we've chosen, no regrets. We've waited so long to finally be in thy arms. Why would we waste any chance? Yahs. Maybe sometimes my actions show otherwise. But deep down, yUu should know don't yUu? That yUu've always been in my heart. Anyway, ytd went to redhill with my boy, crystal and her boy to have our dinner. After that, went to vivo. HaaHs. GO there till sians lerrs. But nvm. It was quite fun with my two most beloved persons in the world around. Of cos, not to forget my beloved crystal de better half nahs. Though we went out for jux a few couple of hours, i enjoyed their company. When my boy and i got home, we went out to ABC Market to drink. With matthias, Ian, etc.. As for the details, i'm a little bit too lazy to type. Anyway, enjoy drinking nahs. Love the feeling of being so relax. Well, going to yVonne chalet with xinqqy ex lata. I know my boy will be sensitive derrs. But boy, no worries kaes? We're jux plain friends. No matter where i go, who i met, it's still the same place i go back to mahs. Still will hug yUu to slp, still will see my dumb face when yUu wake up right? AhaahS~
K lahs. Gonna go get prepared liaos.

'DiaMonD
0131pm

2006-12-03T23:17:00.000-08:00

yea... why are all guys so sensitive?
dont worry la... once we've choosen you then you wont have to worry so much...
boys around us are all just friends.. dont be jealous...

kk: actually dont worry so much cause i understand how you feel... know why? cause you are similar to my another half who are like you as well.. so ya.. next time got anything you can call him and su ku lol!! but dont worry so much la... since she has choosen then you wont have to worry much...

crystal

2006-12-03T16:38:00.000-08:00

Woah~ Now it's only 0840 in the morning and i'm updating blog. Cos i cant get to slp lerrs. Well, been reflecting on my life. It seems like there are loads of mistakes made. Just hope that time can heals evrything. All the wrong decisions i've made, i'll try my hardest to make it right. Hais. My boy is getting more and more sensitve. More and more possessive. I know, it's bcos his love for miiee is getting deeper day by day. But it too lessen my freedom to go out with my friends. SIgh.. What can i do about it? Don wanna quarrel with him over small things. Aiyahs. FOr now, dun wish to think too much about it. Just lead my life as it is bahs. Though i really miss the old days back, i cant turn back the time. Cos things have gone too far and i cant rewind..

Boy: Stop being so sensitve kaes? He's only my friend now. THere's nth btw both of us. He has feelings for miiee no more. & i've got yUu now. So, have more confidence in yorself nahs.
=)

'JeRiCa

2006-12-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

Don get it. Everybody's changing fast. Can no longer catch up anymore. It seems like i've got no choice but to accept everything. Ha. Pathetic miiee. Suffering in this realistic world. So very realistic eh.. Feel like dying sometimes. DOn even get any support from anyone. All i ever get is negative de comments. Aiyahs. It's always like this. Speechless everytime. Fcuk. Why things turn out this way? Blame no one. It's always miiee.

COMES TO NOTHING

With Sadness,
'JeRiCa

2006-11-28T10:15:00.000-08:00

Short post today yea? Well, today i stood on my boy de bike from his house all the way to GREAT WORLD. DotS.. So tiring. But nvm. Kinda missed the old days nahs =) Anyway, when we were on our way back home, saw loads and loads of STARS! Hmmm... Not gonna comment much about it. But it's pretty nice =) Well, been thinking about many things. Hais. Not much comments too. Jux wanna keep my mindcept positive. Anyway, this sunday gg Sentosa with my boy and frenx. Hope to enjoy bahs.
WHAT THE FCUK! So what if i defend him? Like i've said lahs. I came back to yUu and hurt him in a way. Is treating him like a friend my fault? THink carefully. Does the fault really lies in miiee? WHy do yUu have such low-self esteem? No confidence, no faith, no trust. SInce the day we patched up till now ar, how many times have we argued over him? Like i've said. If i can come back to yUu after such a long period of time, why worry? Aiyahs, i dunno lahs. yUu said something about making miiee forget him in 21 days, but the effort is not there. I really dunno how to go on like this lahs. Hais. Don type liaos. No point saying all these, since i've alr lost so much lerrs....

What's meant to be, will be.

'JeRiCa

2006-11-24T21:00:00.000-08:00

NO MOOD.. Simply sucks. WTF is going on in my bloody life? It seems like everything's changed. Yahs. I've changed. From the gal whom i used to love, to the gal whom i despise loads. Stop it lahs. Jux stop everything. I no longer wann anything. Jux give miiee back the past that i adored. The beautiful life has gone. Entering a world of isolation. Intoxicated no more.. I'm the one who chose this road eh? Nobody to blame. Only miiee. Yes, miiee again.. I dun even know myself anymore, let alone yUu people out there. Nobody knows miiee anymore. I need some peace. Jux a bit can? I need to take a breather. Get it?? Not only yUu're hurt. I HURT TOO kaes? I dun wanna justify my acts by saying much. I've lost quite a lot. For someone whom i love. In the end? He's asking miiee if i love him. HaaHs! Irony eh? Forget it lahs. At this point of time, no matter what i wanna say is of no use. So, i'm gonna stop all tat i wanna say.

Lost SAPPHIRE, CRYSTAL, etc..
Lost SHIZHEN, SERAPHINA, LOUISA, EE REN, etc..

HAD ENOUGH...
Sorry to all my peers whom i've been neglecting all this while.
I cant mend anything anymore..

SPEECHLESS,
'JeRiCa

2006-11-24T17:44:00.000-08:00

Just came back from xinqqy ex derrs hse. He's drunk lahs.. Everything is so clear to miiee now. Shall forget all the past. He's moved on, and is happy with his life. That's good. I no longer need to feel guilty anymore. Hmmm.. Deardear was drunk cos of miiee. What the fcuk. It's bcos of miiee again. Hais.. I didn't know what to do. Lousy galfren eh? HaaHs~ I know i know.. Anyway, i was drunk too. I know i shouldn't be. But, at that point of time, all i wann is some peace. For a moment, i jux wanna be alone. Jux wanna have a peaceful sleep. Hais.. I dunno lahs. Dear is so sweet to miiee lahs. Hais.. DUn say liaos. Head is damn heavy. Wanna have my beauty sleep liaos.

Drunkard JeRiCa
=(

2006-11-24T03:00:00.000-08:00

Wah!! What The Fcuk! Will be here prayinq for yUu derrS. *PheW* Relieved when i heard tat yUu din do anything with tat gal.. Dunno why i so happy to hear tat lahs. Got the feeling is i landed yUu in this state derrs. If we're still tgt, things wun happened liaos. Sorry yea. What happened to yOr tagboard! Arrgh~ I wanted to copy all the things we wrote inside before derrs.. Jux kiping it as memories lahs. I believe yUu've alr moved on quite well lerrs yea? Soooo many gals in friendster. HaahS~ Since tat's the case, i'll try my best too. It's not tat we can't click, it's jux tat we met at the wrong timing like i've always said. Maybe, Jux maybe, when we're both older bahs (Like what yUu've said).. As for my dear, hais.. When yUu asked miiee if tat song is what i wanna say to him not, i went speechless. I hope yUu can understand. YupS =)
Think i gonna stop here lerrs bahs. Kinda tired to say anything more..

ToO mUcH tO saY, tOo LittLe TimE tO eXpReSs..

'JeRiCa

2006-11-23T10:21:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.. Jux came back from ViVo with my guy, birr, ah kor, shengwei, tobi and chizhi.. HaaHs~ Played wu gui wu gui tiao, chee go pa, and what hai dai hai dai derrs. LoLs~ So lame lahs! Anyway, really speechless lahs. Dear, there are some things tat i really dunno how to tell yUu. Whether this relationship is gonna work out or not, jux rmb tat i've loved yUu deeply once. Real deep. I know, i'm hurting yUu right now. I too know tat somethings i cant see, yUu saw. Hais~ Like i've said, all i need is time. Cos even though i'm tgt wf xinqqy ex for jux three whole weeks, i dare say he left a mark in my life. I wish to really express all the things i wanna say in my blog. But i'm afraid yUu'll get more hurt. As for xinqqy ex. Really wann have a good talk with yUu. Long talk. If possible, meet up tmr kaes? Then we go toning. Got tons of things i wanna say to yUu...Kaes lahs, stop here first. Continue when i'm free bahs =)

With nothing at all,
'JeRiCa_DiaMonD

2006-11-22T21:14:00.000-08:00

Wasted trip to toa payoh! WTF.. ANyway, went to xinqqy ex hse just now. To pass him his things and take back some stuffs. Memories sial. When i saw him, all i was thinking was 'god dammit, i hurt such a great guy!' Hais, when we shared a hug, all i can do is cry and cry.. Well, mixed mixed feelings. Feeling so different now. Everything changed. There are so many things tat i want to say, but i think keeping it inside is better for all three of us. I know i've hurt both of yUu. Am really speechless now. Have been leading my life with tears everyday since the day xinqqy ex and miiee brk-up. So many promises not fufilled.. Mr. K said he'll try his best to make miiee forget xinqqy ex in 21 days. HaaHS~ Jiayou bahs. I guess tat's all i can say. Cos for now, he's still quite important yea? Sorry if i hurt yUu by saying these. But yUu should know why right? I've been having long talks with yUu for so many days lerrs. HAis... I really dunno what to do!! So fed-up with myself! Arrgh~ Missing everything badly. All the old days.. When i'm so carefree. If yUu nv let miiee go, i'll nv meet xinqqy ex. Things wun turn out this way. Yet i know, yUu did this for gd reasons. Hais.. I dunno what else can i say. Jux let nature take its course bahs..

Xinqqy ex: yUu said yUu've nv walked into my heart.
Lemme tell yUu..
yUu did.
But yUu left miiee first.
People know how to treasure only when they lost something/someone important.
I sincerely hope tat yUu can find a good gal.
Things tat i've once said to yUu.
I meant it.
ANyway, we can still be bestie kaes?
Always..

KK bOyFreN: After so long, we're back tgt again.
I know, it's hard on yUu.
Cos there are shadows of him.
If yUu find it really hard, pls let go.
I dun wann see any of yUu crying cos of miiee anymore.
He's important to miiee.
& yUu know why.
DUn think so much for now.
Let nature take it's course.
Stop saying yUu're dumb!
Cos yUu arent =)
ANyway, i LoVe yUu

With cOnFusIon YeT aqaIn,
'JeRiCa_DiaMonD

2006-11-22T05:31:00.000-08:00

Well, just had a long talk with my guy(KK). Can't stop crying. I'm feeling so lousy. I dun wish to hurt xinqq in any ways. Certainly not his kiddys too. I miss those kiddys damn much. & i feel like something is gone from my life. Love e days when ah yang wud call miiee 'DA SAO', e days when ah shan ask miiee to play mahjong, e days when ah han cheated while playing cards, e days when ah le and mIIee 'eat lollipops'.. In short, i'm just feeling guilty! Xinqq, i'm sorry. Real sorry. I know, it'll be hard for yUu to break the news to yOr family. Hais. Sorry. DUn mean to do this derrs. Hais.. Anyway, thanks yea? FOr yOr blessings. I bless yUu find yOr better half soon. Xinqq, though we are tgt for only three weeks, yUu brought miiee so much joy yUu can nv imagined. Really thanks. No worries, i'm happy with my guy now. He's a changed man! =) My birthday yUu'll be coming right? Yahs, i'll be gg up yOr hse tmr to tk my things and return yUu yOr things. Will call yUu derrs. Meet up for meals yea? =) Well, to all my peers out there, no worries. If this time round, something similar happens, i'll let go derrs =) K lahs, gotta go. Take care evryone. ESP: xInqq =)

BACK WITH MR K.
ALRIGHTS?
NO negative comments from anyone yahs?
=)

2006-11-20T23:34:00.000-08:00

HaaHS~ To think tat i'm still here feeling lost.. Xingan?? Hmmm.. Good for yUu then. I shall find myself a good hubby. LoLs! & i think i found him already lahs.. =) Everybody will be so shocked!! Wahahahaha!! =D Sad?? Hmmm.. Don think yUu're gonna feel tat way eh.. Sweetie, find yOrself a good gal bahs. It's not much of a prob anyway.. yUu're as pop as ever! LoLs! Anyway, it's none of my prob liaos lerrs. yUu can be yOrself again! GO towning/bugis every weekend. It'll be so great for yUu lahs. As for those kiddys of yOrs, i still adore them as much. Gonna bring them out someday if yUu allow, tat is.. Speechless at this point of time. It seems like yUu've always been the one enduring eh? LoLs! On the first day we're tgt, i told yUu alr. It'll be a short-lived r/s.. yUu Prove miiee right =) Since yUu've had attempted the option, it's fine with miiee ^^ By the way, i'm back with 'him'. LoLs! Thanks yea? For everything.

^Back in his arms on 21st Nov 06'^

'JeRiCa_DiaMonD
=)

2006-11-20T05:22:00.000-08:00

It's been so long.. So very long since i last cried. I really dunno what to do anymore. I've tried hard!! Why must things turn this way?? When i saw 'his' nick, my tears jux dropped and dropped. What is happening to miiee? I jux wann to be happy.. Stop it!! Dun shed tears anymore.. No mood update. Continue tmr.. Sorry..

With sadness,
'JeRiCa

EmO EmO!!!

2006-11-18T22:50:00.000-08:00

Went to Great World ytd.. Met up with judy, michelle, birr,etc.. Well, going down to tat place is quite an awful experience. Afraid to see 'him'. & oh my gosh! I did saw him alrights! Initially, wanted to chat like friends derrs. But heard from judy tat he said something quite nasty lahs. Hais.. Why cant we be friends anymore? I mean, yUu've got a gal also wad. It's like, we are all leading our lives peacefully now mahs.. Since yUu've made it clear tat yUu don wann miiee back tat time, then why are yUu always leading miiee on? Stop it lahs.. I jux wann a stable relationship now~ No longer wann to hang on by e edge of e cliff. Yuu've had enuff of miiee. So, stop it lerrs. Though i cant say for sure i've alr gotten use to life without yUu, but i dare say i'm trying hard. Tat's all i wanna say i guess. Take good care of Yorself. Last long with yOr gal =)

To: BoYFreN
Sensitive bOy.. Dun worry. I'm not gonna run away kaes?
HaaHs~
Be spending the rest of my life disturbing yUu!!
MuaCkieS!!
0300 pm

WitH lOvE aNd cOnFuSioN,
'JeRiCa_DiaMonD

2006-11-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.. Ytd went to town with my beloved. At first wanted to watch COLIC derrs. Hais, miss it again~ Cos we pei my elder sista walk here walk there. HaaHs~ Nvm lahs dear.. We can catch it some other time. Anyway, we went to Orchard Hawker. The one near Hotel Meridien derrs. Guess what? We drank beer and ordered cockles. & my fav Shrimp Paste Chicken. HaaHs~ Nv have i eva done this with my boyfren derrs. LoLs~ Though it was jux a simple supper, i quite like it. Love the way we behaved like v close friends. We can talk about everything under the sun. Hmmm.. Loving it!! =) Dearest, yUu really give mIIee a new life eh. But pls rmb what i've said to yUu kaes? Anyway, after our supper, we went home (our home) & continue drinking again. HaaHs~ This time round, it was my idea lahs. Cos i prefer liquor than beer mahs. But we drank a bit then slp liaos. Cos my dearest have to book in. Today got duty lahs. Sians. Can only see him tmr! Arrgh~ Pek Chek.. LoLs.. Kaes lahs. My hands are tired liaos. Update when i'm free bahs..

I'll spend my whole life loving yUu...
'JeRiCa
1110am

2006-11-16T18:08:00.000-08:00

Woah! It's been quite some time since my last post liaos ars.. HaaHs. Sorry Sorry.. This ish gonna be a long one yea. Went to escape with boyfren and those kiddy of his on the 12th NOV 06'.. It was GREAT!! Seeing evrybody enjoying themselves. Hmmm.. It's been long long long since i last laughed like tat. Everything about tat day was great lahs. My boy shouted he loves mIIee when we were inside 'PEPSI'. HaaHs. Kinda lame but it's sweet lahs.. After escape we went back to yewtee to eat. He ordered SWEET & SOUR PORK! & two other my fav dishes!! Thanks boy.. Though it wasn't v nice, i still ate it kaes.. HaaHs~ Anyway, on the 14th NOV 06', i went to town wf my sapphire and shiyu. To look for jobs (-_-) LoLs. A while then shiyu went hm lerrs.. Then my boy came find mIIee.. I'm sorwie!! I guess yUu know what i mean hors? HaaHs. Anyway, we were walking and walking around town. My leg hurts like hell cos of shiyu de heels.. Then my boy say he wann go shop at far east. Sapphire and i waited for him at 7-11 cos my leg hurts. & GUESS WHAT?? He brought a pair of shoes for MIIEE!! Sweet surprise! Thanks loads! I love surprises!! ^^ Hmmm.. Ytd went to vivo to work, with sapphire.. Quite fun actually derrs.. Jux too many rules & regulations lerrs. After my work, my boy came to fetch miiee.. Thanks again, for coming all e way down.. Thanks for the cheesecake though i didnt get to eat it.. LOLS! Thanks for evrything..

BoyFren: I really appreciate all the things yUu've done for miiee. Everything's sugary sweet. Everyday with yUu is like heaven. Though sometimes yOr gal can be quite princessy, yUu know she dun mean it right? Give miiee some time to adapt to the porridge life lahs.. KeKex..

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

With Love,
'JeRiCa

2006-11-10T18:17:00.000-08:00

Arrgh!! Sorry for not updating this blog.. Kinda busy with my life nowadays.. Anyway, my guy ish back from sailing!! Happi!! KeKex.. Going out with my sapphire and him lata.. Go cut hair lo!! HaaHs~ Hmmm... During the week tat my guy ish not by my side, i met up with Chobin, dex, etc.. Well, chobin.. NICE CAR EH!! The feeling ish jux great!! Thx Thx =D Anyway, much happened lahs.. Quarrelled wf 'him' in friendster.. Hais.. Sians lahs. Jux stop all these bahs. I love my guy now!! =D Be bringing his siblings and cousins to ZOO tmr!! HeHs.. Kaes lahs.. Today ish a short post yea? Sorry.. Gotta rush!! =D

Bonez KorKor: Cheer up yea? yUu'll find yOr beta half someday!!
SiJun: Be careful wf e ppl around yUu kaes? Don be too trusting!!
ShiYu: Go find a beta one lahs!! =D
LINYIN: MisS yUu lahs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xinq_bOyfReN: Thanks for everything!! =D

With Love,
'JeRiCa_DiaMonD

2006-11-07T05:05:00.000-08:00

yesterday was ben's birthday! =)
went study with ping yesterday after that met up with ben. (it was a last minute idea la. so.... ya.)
anyway, we bought a 'small little' MANGO cake for him. that cake was damn nice i tell you. ok back to the 'celebration' we planned to distract him but he's just too clever la -_- so i ask him to pass me the key, i lock his car for him while he go toilet and ping go to the top to get everything ready. after that. i went to the toilet there to wait for him to distract him and when he reach we sang him a birthday song =)
everyone was looking at us k! but with the attitude that ping and i have, we dont care! haha.
well, although the cake was rather small, the 3 of us ate the cake till a certain extent that everyone was bloated -_- but its really nice la =D

ben: hope you enjoy it and like it ya once again happy belated birthday =)

2006-11-02T19:16:00.000-08:00

At galfren hse now.. AhahS! Crystal crystal.. Thanks to yUu!! HaaHs~ Anyway, my precious is in camp now.. Kinda miss him eh. Crystal+Sapphire.. Sorry tat i've been spending more time with my galfren and have been neglecting yUu both.. Sho SorRy.. Anyway, will meet up with my crystal lata right mahs? Hais.. Talked to my beloved crystal on da phone. I know i know.. I myself detest the present miiee. I've noticed the changes in miiee. SInce 'he' thinks that this miiee tat i'm presenting now ish the real miiee, then let it be bahs.. I also don wanna say much to justify my actions anymore. I'm already v frustrated with my life liaos. So many things happened in one shot. Sometimes, i really feel like giving up everything. But, i don wanna let down the people around miiee.. HAis... So sick and tired of everything.. Galfren.. Don be like them alrights? Don add on to my burdens.. Thx Thx. Don forget tat we shall be the sweetest couple on earth! Don ah beng-ing with miiee too! HaaHs~ I'm adorable alrights? Actually, i'm glad tat we had an outburst ytd. At least both of us know where we stand in each other's heart. Right? & through tat, both of us understand each other better yea? Hais.. Test is coming.. One week.. Hmmm.. Don worry, will always put 1313 first derrs. HaaHs.. Kaes lahs. Hands tired liaos.. MiSSinG yUu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RiCa=BF XinG=GF
yUu knOw tOo!! LoLs!!
=)

With Love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-11-01T23:55:00.000-08:00

was trying to find 3 person today.
1 of them is someone who is my friend for almost 14 years another two are someone who you know.
surprisingly, i cant find any of them.
called the phone. no one pick up.
called the house. no one at home.
called a few times more. its off.
woah. thanks leh.
thanks for making me worried.
thanks for not telling me where you all went.
thanks for not telling me anything.
thanks for making me like a fool calling everyone to ask about you.
thanks for taking up my study time and stop every 2-3 questions and call you.
thanks for everything man.
you all are the best out of the best already.
thanks alot!

once taught by my diamond.
heart ache -- heart broken -- heart died.
i think i'm at the last stage already ba. [and it's overflowing]

(shall this be my last post? i dont see any need in blogging i dont see anyone replying or bother!)
CRYSTAL

2006-11-01T01:08:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.. Got a new guy in my life.. & he's so popular sial.. SianS. Evrytime got gal call derrs. HaahS~ Nvm. I've got FAITH!! Anyway, jux wanna let yUu know whateva decisions i've made. Not gonna regret it kaes? Don think so much and let time proves evrything. So far, feeling great when i'm with him. I am mIIee when i'm with him.. Feeling happy and relax. He's more than a lover.. He's like a very close frend to mIIee too. HaaHs~ Don worry lahs. &... Note: SO far, nothing wrong btw us.. Get what i mean mahs?? HaaHs! Hope yUu get it bahs. Jux wanna get on with my bloody life. Tat's it. Not gonna bother about what others say now liaos.. YuU know mahs? I wanna lead a life tat belongs to mIIee. Drifting apart?? Hais.. All i can say is jiayou jiayou bahs....

With Love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-31T23:48:00.000-08:00

as i've said. we're drifting.
why is the things that you said and done so different?
i dont understand. i really dont.
disappointment is all i have in you. haiz.

crystal

2006-10-31T02:51:00.000-08:00

was irritated by the alert.. had it removed...
diamond where are you?!
finding you the moment i woke up from my nap and i couldnt find you!
where are you? =(
i had a 'nightmare'
i dreamt of you being together with ben.
i dreamt of you and ben at my house area with the batok people (you should know who i referring to.. YES HIM and the rest)
i dreamt of him calling me and talking to me (of cause my reaction was shocked!)
i dreamt of you snatching his phone away from him and talk to me to suan me to say how stupid i am and all.
i dreamt of so much things!!!!!
so scary!! where are you? =(

crystal =(

2006-10-30T06:43:00.000-08:00

Hais.. Crystal arx.. Don be sad. People do gets old derrs mahs. Don think too much for now kaes?? Anyway, strive hard for yOor Os'.. Don wanna see yUu so sad.. As for Sapphire.. Treasure all around yUu before it's too late yea? Don't ever wanna see yUu ended up like miiee.. I'm trying all my best to let him go. Cos i've finally realised no matter what i've said or done, he still treats miiee the same way. & since i cant be compared with tat BiATch, then jux forget it bahs..Cos from now, gonna strive very hard for my guardian angel. Though it may seem naive to others, & they might think tat there are absolutely no angels in this realistic world, i have faith. So, to all people out there who're lost, JiaYoU JiaYoU JiaYoU!!!
Time:2316

With Love and CheerS,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-30T04:42:00.000-08:00

everything seems to be drifting.. dont you think so?
yesterday went study with sapphire and diamond... we did study but of cause distraction is still there la.. BUT!! at least we get something into our mind right? (hope so O.o??)
well after that.. ben came... send sapphire home.. pick rachel up...
then headed to eat prata =D it has been quite some time since i last ate it.. haha
anyway... diamond.. remember what you ask me yesterday? 'huh? your ah ma sick ar?' and i tell you no right?
today she's sick la.. she's down with fever headache flu and cough... =( haiz... hope she'll get well soon.. haiz..

crystal-linyin =(

2006-10-29T01:13:00.000-08:00

Finally can type my blog liaos.. Went timah eat prata with my sapphire, baobei and chobin.. New car eh? HaaHs.. Thanks for coming all the way down in the middle of the night.. Broke up with babbie liaos. Hais.. He still cant forget his ex and i still cant forget mine too.. Anyway, argued with 'him' AGAIN!! Arrgh.. Pek Chek. Nvm.. Not gonna comment on this anymore. Jux let things go the way it'll be.. O lvl approaching! Study hard, my sapphire and crystal! JiayUu JiayUu.. Anyway, loves all the ppl around miiee.. Learnt how to treasure liaos!

With Love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-28T00:48:00.000-07:00

Now it's 1545 liaos.. Sapphire still slping. Crystal also went bck to slp. Left miiee alone waiting for my babbie's call. Shit lahs. Slept at 6am today jux to wait for yoor call.. Yet? Not even a single msg from yUu.. Hais. Told miiee yUu're busy. Busy till now haven reached home mahs? I gave you 15hrs to call miiee wors.. Frm midnight till now.. Yuu know how worried am i mahs? AiyaHs.. Too angry to type anything more.. Jux felt that i'm not important in yOoR world...

With Sadness,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-27T11:15:00.000-07:00

Gort a new guy in my life liaos. Dex babbie!! Woah~ It's like so amazing.. HaaHs. Lost contact for so long. & before i know it, we're already a couple! HehS.. Well, i've been waiting and waiting for your call whole day long. Worried sick.. Anyway, decided to really move on liaos. Dex babbie, don disappoint miiee kaes? Though i still have 'him' in my mind, i'll try my best to let go derrs. Hais, many thoughts came to my mind. Did i really choose the right path? Some part of miiee yearns to go back to 'him'.. Some part of miiee wish tat i can be the one to bring you happiness. What should i do nehs? HaahS.. Confused.. As for Mr. E, still feeling guilty. Going back indonesia mux take good care of yourself. Find a better gal. Move on bahs. I promise to be XinFu.. Don worry about miiee. Dex Babbie.. What are you gonna tell miiee wors? Bad feeling eh.. Please don tell miiee you're gonna leave miiee jux when i decided to stay. What i told you in e msg, i meant it.. & believe miiee.. Time Heals The Deepest Wounds.. Treat miiee nicely and don leave alrights? MissInG...

By the way, the time now ish 0218am.. Blog de timing always wrong... -_-'''

With Love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

please give me a call and tell me what exactly happened.
dont keep me in the dark please. write me a letter. send me a mail or anything.
just keep me updated. i dont want to be the last to know everything please.

crystal

2006-10-26T01:09:00.000-07:00

Hais~ Seeing my sapphier shedding tears again. What more can i say? I'm in no position to comment on this thingy cos it concerns her family mahs. Sapphire arx, jux hope you really understand what i'm talking about. No matter how mean he is, he still loves you. You are his beloved daughter wors~ Know mahs? Felt so helpless lahs. Bonez korkor.. Where you sial? Never mind. I'll be there for my sapphire till my korkor is here. Loves all of you ppl so much. Don think so much. We can't choose how we were born, but we definitely can choose how we wann to live our life. Right? Jux live your life to the fullest everyday hao mahs? Anyway, ann called miiee. Told miiee abt Mr. E.. Hais. What more can i say nehx? I know he still hearts miiee loads. & i certainly believe that he'll treat miiee nicely with all his heart. Jux give both of us some time to cool down bahs. I guess he needs some time to settle his things also. Well, Mr. Supreme told miiee he'll try his best to mend my wounds. It's not that i don wanna giv this relationship a try. I hope you guys can understand that i still have 'him' in my heart. I don wish to talk about this type of thingys for now. Jux let nature take its course bahs. If not, it wont be fair to any party. Hais.. The pain is evident. Get what i mean mahs? No point giving miiee any promises for now. Jux wanna be myself in my world. No longer wanna change for anyone on earth. Love miiee? Accept the way i am. Hate miiee? Then get a life and leave miiee alone. No longer wanna hear those hurtful words from 'you'..

With Love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-25T04:10:00.000-07:00

Well, today went to Alexandra Hospital with Sijun and her bro. After that, went to 'his' house to take back my slippers. Actually, wann see his dog derrs. But too bad, he slping. Initially, don wish to go up also. It brings back sho much memories that it hurts. The staircase, the corridoor, the pathway, etc.. Sho sho much memories~ I thought that i'll be brave. Too bad. I cried.. It really hurts to be so near him, yet there's nth i can do about him~ Do you people understand this kinda feeling? I really miss him.. I still wish to love him. But sometimes, hiding my feelings will be better. I don wish to complicate things anymore. It took him sho long to talk to miiee. I don wish to destroy anything anymore. It still sucks big time that he's not here by my side. Why does it have to be this way? Hurt another person who loves miiee sho much jux for 'him'. I know. I'm selfish to leave Mr. E jux bcos i still cant forget 'him'. But, what more can i do?? It's unfair to lead him on. & i don wish to let myself down too. This time round, it really ish a big impact on miiee. I no longer trust in guys de words. Ppl out there, it's nort that i don trust in you all. It takes time. I really need lotsa lotsa time. Don bother to wait for miiee. Deep down in my heart, there has always been a special 'him'. Now and Forever, 'he' shall be in my heart. Even though i may never get the chance to be back with 'him', he still stands a place in my heart. & i mean it. He's the first guy who taught miiee how to love. & i guess i will never stop my love for him. Perhaps i may get into a new relationship. Perhaps i may jux move on. But for now, i still still hearts him loads. Still missing. Still loving. Still holding some faith. Even if he only has got 0.00001 % de feel, i can survive on that percentage. Emotions very mixed up today. Keep having the urge to cry. But i won't. Don wanna bother 'him' with my tears anymore. Don ever wish to hurt him anymore. Jux wann him to be happy. I dare say. He's the one that i WAN to get married with. Though it might seem naive to talk about marriage at this kinda age, i meant what i've said. WE LIVE BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. Thats all for today, i guess.. Hais~

With Love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-25T00:20:00.000-07:00

what i want to see in you was actions.
action speaks louder then words.
dont tell me all your words, promises or agreement without any actions done.

2006-10-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

so sorry that i cant be by your side. so sorry my both dear girl.
all i can say is, even me myself think that i also zhi shen nan bao............
=(
haiz..............
i dont tell you is not because i dont care. or rather i dont trust you all.
its just that me too dont wanna trouble you all with my problems.
and..... i seriously dont know how to start it.
haiz...........................

crystal

2006-10-24T06:28:00.000-07:00

Hais~ All i can say is that i'm really sorry. I know you're v serious in this relationship. & that you gave up quite a lot of things jux becos of miiee.. Howeva, we both must understand something.. A relationship with only one party commiting will never have an happy ending derrs.. I'm sorry. Real sorry about the whole thing. If i could turn back the time, i'll never have chosen this path. I'll never want to hurt you. Sorry. Hais.. I know no matter how sorry am i, the hurt is already there. It's hard to let go of someone you really love with all your heart and soul. I believe you know how exactly i feel. Sorry.. Don't ever hold on to a relationship when you know deep down in your heart, that there won't be a happy ending. You know what i mean mahs? You deserve better. Go find your better half. As for miiee, you need nort worry kaes? I know how to take good care of myself. Do not torture yourself. Do not do things that will hurt yourself. Cos maybe to someone else, you are their evrything. Know mahs? Look around.. There are many ppl who truly loves and care for you. Bring no worries to them kaes? Live your life to the fullest everyday. Smile with gratitude. Learn to appreciate what others have done for you... Last but not least, DO NOT FROWN. COS YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUR SMILE =)

'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

i'm so sad. so sad.
how to say leh? i also dont know. haiz....
how i wiah that both of you are here for me.

my dear sapphire: althought i dont know you well.. but i can understand how you feel.
i can go out doesnt mean i'm happy. maybe all you need is freedom. but to me? going out is a way for me to avoid things which is going around me especially in my family. i might seems to be happy, but all i can say is i'm not that happy as how you think. haiz. in anyways, cheer up k?
hearing you or seeing you being so sad doesnt feel good for me too...

crystal

2006-10-22T14:26:00.000-07:00

Bloody blogger. Type half-way jam. Sians. Now hv to re-type evrythin. These few days gort meet up with zhixiong and wenjun. Then just now gort owen and kawai too. Nice meeting you guys! =) Well, am pondering on my relationship with my dardar. Hais. What more can i say? You're the one who is giving and giving. all i do is to take and take. This kinda relationship won't last derrs. I guess you know what i mean right? Think it over carefully bahs. Anyway, argued with 'him'. Hais. I was just trying to express my concern mahs. Maybe i was a little bit too harsh. I'm sorry. I know lahs. It's no point saying so much derrs. Forget it. It all comes to nothing mahs. Well, really like a song titled (NO PROMISES) by Shanye Ward. Meaningful. It represents my feeling now. Exactly how i'm feeling now. Below is the lyrics......
===Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.===
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl.I just need you to know girl.
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl.I just need you to know girl.
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
I just wanna die in your arms
I don't want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..
No promises
I don't wanna run away, I don't wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love
No promises
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
I just wanna die in your arms Here tonight.
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight....
+Meaningful eh? I hope 'you' really know how i'm feeling lahs. It's not easy to let go derrs. But i know you'll be happier lahs.. Trying my best though. Anyway, mux pei zHixiong go NUH later. Gonna get some rest. Arrgh! Only left one more hour to rest.. Haahs. I'm so wei da arx? Haahs. Don say liaos..

With Love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

Hais.. Quarrel again arx~ Cos of some pics in my friendster. Told you i need some time liaos. Really don like it when we argue over 'him'. I mean, it's not tat i don wanna remove his pics. It's jux tat it's all very beautiful memories to miiee. When i see those pics, it brings back e happy moments in my life. Surely you don wann see miiee so sad evryday derrs mahs. Even if i really remove all those pics, wad good does it do to both of us? Hais. Though frankly speaking, i do still think of him. Howeva, at least i'm tryin my best to move on. Don't be so sensitive lahs. 'He' already said sho many times tat we won't eva be back together anymore liaos. He's leadin his life happily. & i sincerely hope tat he can find someone who's worthy of his love. As for the both of us, jux treasure the time tat we have together now. If a couple can't trust each other, then wad's e point of being together still? I can say tat i don't really trust you. & i certainly do not wish to be unfair to you. Hais.. Dono lahs. I'm really gettin sick and tired of all these liaos. No strength to kip arguing with you also. Go ponder on the things tat i've said bahs.

With Love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

Hais.. Jux came back from town. With dardar, 'HoNeY', ann and ah soon. They got some probs then hv to go. Wad to do?? I respect ur decision to go. Really thx evrybody for helpin so much. This time round, e prob lies in miiee. Not him. Will try my best and sort tings out. Don press miiee kaes? Thx.. Giv miiee some time to really think it over. Hais.

-Seeing my saphhire cryin yet cant do anythin about it. I'm sorry. I feel so helpless. Don think so much. Don say urself till so worthless. I'm always here for you..

-Wahs~ Why mux things turn out this way? You all so long liaos. Why mux things ended up in this state?I'm sorry i cant be of much help too~Howeva,if you guys can still hv the chance to be back together,i sincerely hope tat you both can treasure.

-Wah! Bloody hell lahs. If you wann call to quarrel den bloody hell DON CALL lahs! You don know how worried am i right? I asked you to call back when you're done wf ur things. Then? Wah. Can happily go catch a movie arx? Thx man.. I really appreciate it.All i can say now is thx man!Forget it lahs.Don say anymore lahs.No point.

With hatred and love,
'DiaMonD_JeRiCa

2006-10-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

everything is up =) but i'm down -_-
i'm down with gastric flu if not wrong. haiz. bad. the pain is killing me.
so not right. at this point of time somemore. my dearest brother birthday today know? haiz. well, hope that i'll be fine by this evening. HAIZ

diamond: dont think so much k. dont be the center one when you yourself cant solve your own problem. i know its hard to throw friends aside and be selfish to sort your things before you sort theirs but its also not right to sort other people's problem and put yours aside. the longer you drag, the tougher it is to be sorted it out next time. think of what are the things which you should sort it out first and then move on the the minor ones. get it? althought i might not be by your side due to the distance and time which seldom match but bear this in mind, 'whatever happen, happens for a reason. physically i might not be by your side but mentality i'm always there being by your side to be your listening ear, to give you advice and most importantly, to hold you up.' =)

sapphire: its okay if you got that question wrong. at least you get one mark out of two right =)
study hard and lets work hard together for the coming O's. it might be tough now, but after this stage, we can throw everything aside and enjoy ourselves like never before =D
shall wait for the day when we are able to gather and go out together again.. =)

B daddy =x : thanks for your concern. really appreciated it alot alot. thanks for being there for me when i'm in need of help no matter what help it is. thanks for showing your care and concern to me when i'm sick. thanks for always being there for me despite of how busy you are. thanks. really thanks alot B daddy =D =x

crystal

2006-10-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.. Many things happened during these few days. Hais. Talked about the happi moments first~ Went to town on e 16th wf my dardar and 'HoneY'. Dardar bought two eeyores for miiee! Though it reminds miiee of someone else, i still feel glad lahs. At least he made e effort. Took neo-prints wf dardar and 'HonEy' too.. ShOOO ke ai! If possible will scan in com fast fast. Let evrybody see how ke ai ish my 'HonEy' !! Anyway, glad tat the prob btw my dardar, miss j and i has been solved. We're still frenx kaex? Well, 'HoNey' is attached liaos. Hais.. Jux hope tat she really is the right one for you. Rmb wad i've said to you and the promises tat i've gave you.. Hais. Been kinda down recently too. Don know why i said so much liaos you ppl still don understand. Hais. Jux let nature take its course. Tat's all i can do for now right mahs?

HoNeY: Jux hope tat you can be xinfu.Go Go JiaYou hUhx..

Sapphire: Thx for being there for miiee. Thx for lending miiee a comforting shoulder. Thx for being the middle person.

Crystal: Sorry if you feel tat we've been neglecting you. All i can say is tat i don wish to bother you with my probs.

To All Those Who Cares For Miiee: No worries yahs. I jux need some time to think. Don bother yourselves with my probs.

Hais. Really no mood to write liaos. Shall continue when i come bck.

With Love,
DiaMonD_JeRiCa'

2006-10-18T18:45:00.000-07:00

so sorry about the tagging part... i'll try to fix it asap.. =x
hmmm going for my science practical later on.
wonder how is my sapphire doing? is she doing fine?
well, we can pull it through one =D
my dear sapphire, all the best to you k? =)

actually i think, age doesnt concern that much too la its the thinking and 'feeling' that matters, right sapphire? =)

crystal~

2006-10-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

Jux finished crying.. Thx my beloved BoneZ KorKor and my Beloved Sapphire. Thx my "Honey" for being there too. Jux hope tat you really go think it over as to what i've jux said. Well, kinda fed-up now. A relationship concerns only the couple. I need not answer to anybody.. If you people think tat i bothers your, den jux leave miiee alone. Get A Life!! I don wann anybody to bother miiee anymore. Seeing my Sapphire gettin all stress up bcos of miiee, it really hurts lahs. So people out there.. Jux leave miiee alone. Initially, i can still sympathize with you. But now, i feel tat you're kinda overboard. I don wish to turn e tables on you. But why mux you make things turn out this way? I mean, i know you still harts him loads. I understand the feeling. I know it's hart-wrenching to see the one you love, love another. Howeva, think it over. Do you really love him? If you love someone, you should have jux let him go peacefully. You should give him your blessings jux like how i gave it to the other him of my life. Cos i know that, he'll nv ever wann miiee to be sittin here cryin and cryin. I know it bothers him. I'm not tryin to say that you bothers E. Jux wanna let you know how he feels in a more gentle manner. You're still my fren and i certainly don wish tat my fren is upset cos of miiee. I believe it all depends you. It's not the matter of whether you can or cannot. It's the matter of whether you wan or don wan. We gals should know how to protect ourselves and give ourselves basic respect. Though he's mine now, i can tell you he's not worth it. Nobody can't survive without the other person. When i lost the other him, i was like you. Starved myself. Getting drunk cos of him. But does he even care? Nope. He certainly don't. Tat's why i decided to move on. A guy who's worthy of your tears will nv make you cry. Mux rmb this kaex?? Don starved yourself or gettin drunk. Bad for health. Think tat's all i have to say. Think it over and tk gd care of yourself..

With Love,
Diamond_JeRiCa

2006-10-16T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hais.. Sick sial. Migraine liao. "Honey" also sick sial. Mux tk gd care of yourself kaex? Jux kinda quarrelled wf my dardar. Cos i wanted to meet up with ah bee den he don allow. Hais. Dardar arx~ I'm someone who needs freedom de, you know? It's not tat i wanna argue with you. I mean, i jux don like it when you showed miiee attitude. I told you i know how to take care of myself liao. I'm strong de.. Not like those kinda typical gals who'll die from being sick.. Anyway, gonna go catch a movie wf ah bee tmr.. Dardar arx~ Don think too much lahx.. I won't fall for him or wad de. Cos if i wann, i long time be with him lers. Don worry.. Hais.. Damn stress. Feel like giving up sometimes. Nv had this kinda prob before. "Honey" says he'll support miiee.. Told miiee with obstacles comes happiness.. Hais.. Sooo many ppl hates miiee now~ Sianx. It's like there's no right or wrong in relationships de mahx~ I know Miss J is very down now.. & i can say tat even though i only know her for tat day, i still treat her as my fren. Maybe to you ppl, she's your sista. Tat's y you all see things in her point of view. Hais. All i can say now is tat i'm really sorrie. I don wish for this to happen. Arrgh!! Migraine~ Painful sial... Hais.. Miss my dardar and my "Honey".. Where's my guardian angel?? God, can you jux send someone who really loves miiee with his whole hart to miiee mahx? Going crazy at this rate. Laughin and tryin my best to entertain all my frenx. Gosh.. I miss the old days back man.. Return my happiness to miiee. Return my laughter to miiee.. No strength to go on sometimes. Hais.. Don say liao..

With Love,
Diamond_JeRiCa

2006-10-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Hais.. Stress. Jux finished talking to my dardar on e phone. Dono wad to say arx~ Can only say 'Time Proves Evrything'. As for my 'Honey', i know how you feel lahx. No sense of security de feeling sucks big time. Especially both of us de looks also not tat gd. Haahs. At least you still ke ai lahx. Don think so much kaex? If you really think that she's your xin fu then mux strive hard hard worx.. Hais.. Now i also stress arx~ Cos i'm scared my dardar will jux dump miiee when i begin to develope feelings for him. But nvm.. I promised my "Honey" not to think about this matter anymore. Jux let nature take its course bahx. Hmmm.. Need to call dardar liao. Continue tmr..

With Love,
Diamond_JeRiCa

2006-10-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Well, age doesn't matter de lahx, my dearest crystal.. As long as both of you got "huiling".. Lolx.. Hmmm.. Went to town with my dardar and honey! HaaHs.. Kinda down at first.. Cos memories flowed back. But nvm. We took neo-prints and dardar bought EEYORE for miiee!! So adorable! Anyway, enjoyed myself. Thanks my dardar and honey!! Sapphire arx~ Mux know how to treasure the gu tou kaex? He reali treats you nice nice de. Don fret kaex? Wann my crystal and sapphire to be happy!! Think tat's all for today bahx.

With Love,
Diamond_JeRiCa

2006-10-15T23:47:00.000-07:00

seems like everyone is concern about age gap.
does age really matters that much?
my mum told me this morning when i was having my breakfast.
mum: dont trust on guys too much. most of the guys cheat on girls and he is older then you so much, dont know what he have on his mind, dont know what motive he have also.
i just smiled =)
while having recess with nigel, i asked him.
me: what if i tell you i'm with one guy who is 25?
nigel: (look at me shockingly) i can put a $350 bet on it... wont last. he wont be the one you will married to.
haiz.. age really matter that much meh? i dont know

anyway..
good thing is... today is a big day for me. i graduated =D got my graduate cert. so happy.. =)
share my joy and happiness with my diamond and sapphire =)

and the bad one is... my long and coloured nails was being caught by principle today -_- sad to say but yes, today, last day of school -_- its now cut and colour being removed.. what the... whatever. my nails will grow =) shall not be bother by these kind of nonsense anyway =D

crystal

2006-10-15T07:39:00.000-07:00

Eh~ Diamond here again.. The two gems of mine is too busy wf thier 'O' to post a blog. Well, my mind is full of tots, tat i don really know how to start my blog. Hey.. I think your dog is kinda cute yahx.. Miniature beagle? Hah. Mux take good care of him yahx. Hais.. Sometimes i really wonder. Is tat R gal really tat wonderful? Nvm.. Suan lerx bahx. Let it be jux beautiful memories. Thanks for everything. You really taught miiee how to love. I hope you still rmb wad's 'WE LIVE BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT'.. Anyway, got a new guy in my life liao. Cos i know you said something like the sooner i get a guy, the better it is for you. At least this guy is not po po ma ma. I know he really likes miiee with all of his heart. I can't say for sure i'll love him with all of my heart. But at e very least, i'm still trying hard. Don't wanna disappoint all of the people who cares for miiee. Don't wanna lead my life as if i'm a nobody to everybody. Maybe to you, i'm a nobody anymore. But thanks to you, i know i'm everything to him. I've got the feeling of being treasured. I can be myself when i'm with him. Most importantly, he will nv let miiee shed a tear for him. I'm gonna be serious in this relationship. Though i've got some problems with him now, i'm sure we can overcome it de. Jerica gogo jiayou!! VrOoM VrOoM!! Yesh! Mux jiayou! I won't be defeated easily de! Yeah! ^-^
'Diamond_Jerica

2006-10-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hey!! This is the opening of the GEM-SHIP of CRYSTAL - SAPPHIRE - DIAMOND!! Hmmm... From now onwards, every single detail of our life shall be posted here. We vow to share our happiness and sorrows ever. Sounds sweet eh? HaHa. You people should be jealous! LoLx.. Well, i'm the first to post a blog here. I'm diamond aka Jerica!! Been kinda down on my luck these days. Luckily, i've got a wonderful family and two priceless gems who stood by miiee.. People who cares for miiee, do not be worried. I've decided to move on. He really hurt miiee lerx.. At this point of time, i only can say i've got no regrets. I hope he can find a gal who treats him better than i do. As for miiee, i'm trying my best to move on. Cos i met someone who really knows how to appreciate miiee. Who really knows how to treat miiee nicely. The same goes for my SAPPHIRE. She's got a real wonderful boi in her life. As for our CRYSTAL.... Strive hard for your LANCER!!! HaHa.. Eh~ Mei you la mei you la.. LOLX!! ^-^ Hmmm.. One more thing before i go, you two precious gems of my life mux study hard for 'o' lvl kaex? Go Go Jiayou Jiayou Jiayou!! VrOOm VrOOm!!! lolx.. With all my love, diamond_jerica